When I was still working at my 9-5, building my side hustle, I used to say things like, “If I can ever leave the bank,” or “If my side hustle income ever reaches my banking income, I’ll quit my job.”

That word “if” was everywhere. It sounded harmless, but looking back, it revealed what I really believed at the time, that maybe this wouldn’t happen. That perhaps I wasn’t the kind of person who could actually leave the security of a long career and go out on my own.

One day, my wife, Laura, called me out on it.

She said, “You know, Colin, you need to change your words. Because what comes out of your mouth is what you believe.”
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She told me, “Stop saying, ‘If I can ever leave the bank.’ Start saying, ‘When I leave the bank.’ Don’t say, ‘If my freelance income ever exceeds my bank income.’ Say, ‘When my freelance income exceeds it.’”

At first, I laughed it off. But she was right. You see, my wife understood the power of words better than I did.

Once she pointed it out, I started noticing the difference in how she used language versus how I did. My wife stays in incredible shape. She works out six days a week and challenges herself physically even when she doesn’t feel like it.

I realized that she never says, “I’m going to try to get a strength session in today,” or “I hope I can make it 50 km on my bike.”

She just says, “I’m going to work out this morning,” or “I’m riding 50 km today.”

And sure enough, she almost always follows through.

I decided to take that same approach with my goals. I started changing the words I used in everyday conversation. Instead of saying, “If I ever leave my 9-5,” I said, “When I leave my 9-5.” Instead of “If my side hustle income ever exceeds my salary,” I said, “When it does, I’ll…”

Here’s the thing, though. At first, I didn’t believe it. I said the words, but they felt like a stretch, almost like I was pretending.

But I kept saying them anyway, and something shifted.

Over time, I started to believe them. I began to see myself as someone who would succeed. The question stopped being “if” and became “when.” It wasn’t “I hope I can” or “I’m trying” anymore; it was, “I’m going to do this.”

That small language change led to a massive shift in how I saw myself.

You have to start speaking the words, even before you believe them, because your words are often the first step toward changing your identity.

So, look at your own goals. What are some of the scripts you keep repeating that might be holding you back? What words do you need to drop?

Because sometimes the most significant change doesn’t need to be what you’re doing, but what you’re saying.

Want some help figuring out what your next “when” looks like? That’s exactly what I do in my coaching sessions. We’ll map out your escape plan, step by step — and turn your 'if' into 'when'.

Book a free 30-minute call with me, and I'll help you figure out your next steps on your 9-5 escape!

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Until next week,
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Colin

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